उम्मीद

छोटी छोटी आँखें सपने बड़े बड़े
क्यों इतना तू सोचे बस यू दूर खड़े खड़े?
       उम्मीदों से कायम है दुनिया कहते सभी
       जो भी सपने है देखे पूरे कर लो अभी
मानना न हार, डर का देना न साथ कभी
जाने किस मोड़ पे मदद कर दे कौन अजनबी =)

new beginning

Laying awake all confused
    full of many thoughts my mind feels abused.
So much undone so much unsaid
    old images churning new dreams in my head

All i look for;
a new beginning, a fresh start
     for all that once mattered for my heart

चुपचाप है क्यों?

कितना कुछ है कहने को बाकी
फिर क्यों है इस जुबां पे लगाम ये साधी
इतना क्यों सोचे है कि
समझेगी क्या दुनिया ये बेईमान आधी?


माना कि
लफ़्ज़ों से चलती है ये दुनिया सारी
फिरभी कभी कहीं तो बस होते है जज़्बात ही काफी | 


kitna kuch hai kehne ko baaki
fir kyu hai is zubaan pe lagaam ye saadhi
itna kyu soche hai ki
samjhegi kya duniya ye beimaan aadhi?

maana ki
lafzon se chalti hai ye duniya saari
fir bhi kabhi kahi to bas hote hai bas jazbaat hi kaafi.

Just another story

Once a guy who never did belong
Hurting people for a purpose he knew he was wrong
Then was this girl who fell in love
three lil' words to say and hear
never did he care, never she did dare.

Determined one day she blurted it out
caught off guard he said he did too.
his love was fake while her's was true
All this while he pretended when her love grew.

Lil' did she know her heart would shatter
All for a person for whom it never did matter
Left alone with absolutely nothing
she lost it all, even the dream she lived in.

Lost

Slipping into a fair
   just another person for who no one cared
All in a crowd yet alone
  With memories of someone not yet gone
Dreams galore and not a face
  Will he ever make a case for god's grace?

misery

A story of fate,
   that remains untold;
A heart of hate,
   she no longer holds;
No worry on face,
   there's no more fear;
yet her blank face,
   is full of tears.

Love

I'm light, powerful capable and dear
I'll free you from all that you fear
Oh! look within you i'm waiting
to be heard and shared and cared
How long will you stay away?
how long will you sleep?
Wake up, you have to take a leap.
Embrace me at ten, sixteen or eighteen,
and see how I make you the queen.

Down memory lane

Met my primary and middle school friends after AGES today. Fun in the most demure form, with awkward silent moments, thanks to the changed faces and grown up personas. Recollecting the pranks we played on the teachers and each other; this is all that came to my mind.
"Those were the days, my friend
we thought they'll never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
we'd live the lifet we choose
we'd fight and never lose.
For we were young and sure to have a way."

so well tonight will be spent listening to the same song :)
 

Gone

Gone for so long,
I've lost your track.
Don't make me miss you,
if you're not coming back.

Tired and sleepy,I close my eyes
my heart knows not any of your vice.
even though i know you're gone you've left
thoughts of what once was, i'm yet not bereft.

A chance

No matter when they go and where,
there's a chance of life they'd share.

Might be a dream ending bright
and wake up to unending fright

Will they pray and wait for it to all turn gray?

Angel

An angel so perfect   
Chased away by pain
put through such hell
look how she fell
breathing for the last time
no one to hear her again

Dear Dream

Dear dream, please come true
when i wake up to the morning dew.
you know i was mad,
you are the only dream i've ever had
   Once it happens i'll raise you a toast
   of my happy day i promise; i won't boast
   I know what i want i have a preview
   i have faith my dear dream, you will come true :)

why? kyu? kaiku?

have words lost the meaning they once held?
  Is it all just said and nothing heart felt?
why has betrayal got the charm?
    why have people begun to harm?

कैसे?

ये कैसी सोच है

की जिसने तुम्हे पैदा किया

उसे ही तुम छोड़ जाते हो

बचपन के इस क़र्ज़ को 

तोडा भी न चूका पते हो? 

कल तक जिनका सहारा लेते थे

आज उन्हें ही ठुकराते हो 

आज जब चलना सीख लिया 

तो बस उनको ही कैसे भूल जाते हो ? 

वक़्त

अभी कुछ समझ भी नहीं पाए थे

और वक़्त गुज़र गया 

कुछ देर पहले सब साथ थे

अब जाने कौन किधर गया

just another day

The other day when I got stuck in traffic, I rolled down the window to see a mother-daughter pair on the pavement, teaming up to remove and pack corn seeds out of the cob for sale in a bamboo basket.A really young mother maybe my age or even less with a 5 yr old daughter. The young lady was busy but the little girl with a doll in her hand uninterested and lost in her own world, dropped a bagful on the ground.The mother went berserk and started beating the girl..the little girl's mistake cost them the price of the packet of seeds..that loss would probably mean losing a meal. I'm sure the girl will learn the real value of the green paper very soon as both of them got busy with their work again this even before the roads got cleared off the traffic.

Makes me wonder, while  there are people desperately trying to just continue living only to fill their stomach there are also people who have luxurious lives,leading an exuberant life..why this division?? Moreover it is the latter kind that finds trouble and complain about the most unreasonable things in life. Real life->

   

Yes all this makes me wonder, changes nothing. 

Pain

Here I am knocking at your door,
again and again,
Don't fear ..don't you dare turn a deaf ear,
Just love me nurture me,
Don't kill me- says the pain
I'll cause misery everywhere.
Believe me hold on to me tight ,
I'll carry you to soaring heights.

A reason to smile

Unwanted tears fill my eyes
I just needed to sit and cry
but then
I turn around slowly
thinking how all this while
even when engulfed by untold sorrow
you managed to make me smile :)

"He died you survived and because you survived you die everyday"

Always in a crowd yet so alone.Nobody knows, whoever does just has one thing to say " move on" everything else is still the same but then this everything else seems so different.... so new..... so weird.

                       If only you could tell people how this "everything" was everything but what you had ever wanted to have.How it is to live a life without that one person who was supposed to matter the most . How with things the way they are, make you remember the happy times but you arent happy about those happy times. How you never realise when that sweet smile turns to tears and you taste the salt instead of the sweet numb crumbs.

          How you find every possible edible item in this whole world and try to consume it in hope of consuming the anger the frustration and the never ending gloom that has spread its wings and has engulfed every strand of hope that might try to escape into your life.
    How you wish you had one of those MIB gadgets to erase your memory. How you lose the wish to even shower or dress up .The daily fight to fall asleep  that usually ended with you either in the sofa sweating profusely with what people call nightmares at 4 am . And then gazing  fixedly at the rotating fan gearing up for a similar fight to gather the bones together and make them movable ready for yet another day .
     How your best friends talk about the latest crush of theirs who am sure is some handsome hunk but you never turn your head to check. How it hurts but you smile.How it tortures and yet you brave a smile ...a smile from which no one can ever find whats hidden beneath .
    How you get scared of things that you never thought would trouble you. How you find solace only in sleeping beside your ma who  is puzzled about what happened to her once brave daughter. How you haven't figured out how you'd tell your ma that you still are brave its just not the sort that would win  you bravery awards but is necessary for you to sustain .
    He died but nothing else ever died. A face that doesn't exist anymore to comfort that worried brow or smooth the wrinkles on it. A voice you'll never hear again. A joke that'll never make you laugh again. and a knot that'll take a lot of patience and time to untie .

silent thoughts

beyond time and land,
I wanted to wander hand in hand.
the flawless smile I saw so often,
always made my wrinkled brow soften.
I shared my smiles and shared your tears,
every single day spent alone feels like a year.
I know in my heart somewhere
even with you not around I'll always receive your care.

i too am a poet ;)

I CAN WRITE. Yeah right ! O.k if truth persists I have two left hands when it comes to writing for fun. With a literary quotient close to what could make a  middle school student sound scholarly and a constant mind-tongue battle that the tongue usually wins, I get  caught in the most awkward discussions ever. One such discussion being " who is the worst poet in the history of literature ? " . 

I could have easily  slipped the discussion but all I managed to blurt was " I am the worst poet ever " . After all i've read Shakespeare too. I have to have an opinion about "Literature". This however was not taken down very well by the company I keep. Thus caught in a situation  best described by the quote " chane ke jhaad pe chadana" and thee I was "Poetically challenged" yet trying my hand at a war of rhymes which I knew would lead to the most embarrassing tweets I would ever manage to make.

Here goes the series of tweets that followed that discussion .

Disclaimer: I did not want to put this up and was again coaxed into the whole idea by someone who found this funny . Hope you do the same. However if I were in your place , I wouldn't really support my own rhymes.

Warning: totally random thoughts. Use of mind / brain would simply go down the Drain.

-        He might be your knight in shining armor but don't  forget the rotten tomatar i threw were  from the khet of a puny farmer.

-        When love is in the air ...take your partner and get lost in that kumbh ka fair.

-        If your relationship turned out to be a fail jao use bhool ..dallo blind dates ke liye mail :P

-        Jab kare dil wala kisi cheez ke liye black mail......dimag lagao apna aur bhejo use jail .

-       I wud love to share that Girls FB status ka plan ..but then i dont wanna be a dhabba on my girl clan.

-        Rhyme karna is not a war .....boli janta ki leader mrs kaur.

-       Uncle chips jisse love karte hai mere lips ...why do they all add on only to my hips

-        Suno suno main nahi koi Shaitan par neend nahi aati hume under this fan Khaitan .

-        Pyar nahi hai koi khel tumko jo main lu jhel chala jayega bheja mera lene ko tel

-        I'm good i'm not THAT bad ...but tumko main jhelooo i'm not itna mad !

-        FB poochta rehta whats on ur mind ...and then it wants me to bear with it oh i'm not THAT kind

-        Life nahi hai koi sizzler ki jo aaya use de do chillar

-        Balo ko color karti ho streak se kabhi dehi hai budhiya si shakal theek se.

-        Jab ATM mein nahi ho paisa ....... tumhara pyar vyar to bus aisa vaisa

-        Twitter always asking whats happening... jab dekho tabhi koi namoona karta rehta ping

-        Ibn e batuta  dil jo tera tuta maro usko vo jhoota

-       Na hu main koi cook vook bahut garmi chadi hai to jaake dekho emmraan hasmi ki crook

-        Na jaane mere dil ko kya ho gaya ...acp ke kehne pe daya darwaza tod gaya daya

-        Dil to hai dil dil ka aitbar kya kehna ...tu hoga tota main nahi teri koi maina .

 P.S. if you've reached here , I really appreciate your patience ;)